"Narcissistic Abuse Through Religion: A Threat to Mental Health"

Posted: June 14, 2025

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Introduction

The dictionary defines “narcissist” as a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. Even though that may seem to be the case from the outside. But in reality, a narcissist is a person who struggles with a deep sense of low self-esteem and low self-worth. They struggle with a deep identity crisis, and the inner turmoil is so chaotic that their ego cannot accept the pain of being so broken internally. The result is that the ego unconsciously covers up the shame and pain with a false sense of entitlement and grandiosity, which is what makes a narcissist look so full of themselves.

Due to their self-absorption and severe anxiety, a narcissist is unable to empathize with others' needs. They seek constant validation from everyone else around them. They can be charming and charismatic, only to hide their pain. A Narcissist may appear very outgoing and helpful outside their homes, but as soon as they are in their comfort zone, with their families, they are grumpy, depressed, anxious, and not fun to be around.

A narcissist uses their power, achievements, and titles to gain control of the people around them. Another favorite tool of a narcissist, especially the ones who have not achieved much in worldly matters, is Religion.

Religion, at its core, is supposed to offer solace, guidance, and a sense of community. But it can be twisted and exploited by people with narcissistic tendencies.

The Narcissist's Playbook: How Religion Becomes a Weapon

Here are some ways that a narcissist uses religion as a weapon to attract their supply and gain control.

Exploiting Authority: Narcissists often position themselves as the ultimate authority on religious matters, interpreting scriptures and doctrines to suit their agenda. They will practice and preach only those parts of their religion that suit them. There is a lack of integrity and honesty in their religious practices. It seems more of a hypocritical show-off. An example would be, on one hand, they will practice a disciplined religion, but on the other, they may be corrupt, favor their family members, abuse the vulnerable, discriminate against a particular race or gender, create division, and will exhibit traits of pahologic lying while, ensuring that they pray daily, meditate, or attend religious institutions pretty frequently. It's like a double standard, and people around them feel quite confused. They may claim divine favor or special knowledge, demanding unquestioning obedience from their followers.
Guilt and Shame: Religion can be used to instill excessive guilt and shame, making victims feel unworthy and dependent on the narcissist for redemption. They twist religious teachings to create a climate of fear and self-doubt. They may often be heard saying, ‘ divorce is against the scriptures'. Or, “Disobeying a parent is a ticket to hell,' "Saying -No to a parent is hated by God”, etc.
Isolation: Victims may be isolated from friends and family who do not share the narcissist's religious views, further solidifying the narcissist's control. The narcissist portrays outside influences as dangerous or heretical. Some narcissistic parents may outrightly forbid children from mingling with kids of other religions or races.
Financial Exploitation: This is pretty prevalent in many cultures and societies, even in advanced ones. Religious organizations can become a source of financial gain for narcissists, who may pressure victims into donating heavily or exploiting their labor for the narcissist's benefit.

Examples of Religious Manipulation

Here are some real-world examples of how narcissists use religion for manipulation:

The Charismatic Leader: A charismatic religious organization leader demands absolute loyalty, controlling every aspect of their followers' lives, from their finances to their personal relationships. Dissent is met with public shaming and excommunication.
The Scripture Twister: An individual within a religious group selectively quotes scriptures to justify their abusive behavior, claiming that their actions are divinely ordained. They interpret religious texts in a way that supports their narcissistic tendencies.
The Spiritual Gatekeeper: A person claims to be the only one who truly understands the religion's teachings and uses that position to control access to spiritual guidance and resources. They create a system where followers are dependent on them for salvation or enlightenment.

Psychological Impacts on Victims:

The psychological toll of religious manipulation can be devastating and is a form of psychological and emotional abuse.

Loss of Self-Worth: Constant criticism and guilt-tripping erode a victim's self-esteem, leading to feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness.
Anxiety and Depression: The stress of living under constant scrutiny and control can trigger anxiety disorders and depression.
Spiritual Crisis: Victims may experience a crisis of faith as they grapple with the dissonance between the teachings they once believed in and the reality of their abusive situation.
Trauma: Prolonged exposure to religious manipulation can result in complex trauma (C-PTSD), characterized by emotional dysregulation, difficulty with relationships, and a distorted self-image.

How does one recognize and Address Religious Manipulation

Taking Action:

Seek support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who understands religious abuse.
Educate yourself: Learn about narcissistic abuse and religious manipulation tactics. As well as gain knowledge about your faith from trusted sources. Do your research and study instead of relying on the information you got from the narcissistic family member or the head of the institution, where the narcissist practices..
Set boundaries: Clearly define what you will and will not tolerate.
Consider leaving: If the situation is unsafe or harmful, prioritize your well-being by leaving the abusive environment. This can be a difficult decision, but your mental and emotional health are paramount.
Legal recourse: If there has been financial exploitation, you may be able to take legal action.

Recognizing the Signs:

Unhealthy obsession with authority: Is there an expectation of unwavering obedience?
Love Bombing followed by devaluing: Are you showered with affection only to be criticized later?
Isolation: Are you being discouraged from spending time with friends and family outside of the religious group?
Financial pressure: Are you being pressured to donate more than you can afford?

Conclusion:

Religion should be a source of comfort and strength, not a tool for manipulation and control. By understanding the tactics narcissists use to exploit religion, we can protect ourselves and others from this insidious form of abuse. Remember, questioning authority, setting boundaries, and seeking support are crucial steps in reclaiming your autonomy and healing from the psychological wounds inflicted by religious manipulation. You are not alone, and recovery is possible.